Amacam brader?

Lahore - Day 2 (Jihad and Banned Blogs)

I just found out today that-
BLOGS are completely banned in Pakistan!
I can't read anyone's blogs! Isn't that terrible?
Hmm....well i gues this is what you get in a country that is so tightly controlled with soldiers hanging out at every corner!
I'm so frustrated that I can blog but not read anyone's blogs! Yeesh...

Anyways....
Today was the first day of fasting here...
And i woke up at 3.45 am to have a bottle of water and 3 pieces of marie biscuits before waiting for the azan from a mosque nearby and compeleting my fajr prayers...
Its so hot here that my lips are beginning to chap...
Eating in public is against the law here too...
So PL and D had to 'fast' along with me...
Eating just a tiny snack at 3pm...
We arranged to meet at the hotel cafe a little after buka, so that I could just have a cup of Milo and some dates, do my Maghrib prayers and then have dinner...

Guess what...
As i heard the call of the azan, I sipped my hot milo, tasted the sweetness of the dates unfold on my tongue, and realised the tears streaming down my cheeks
Looking into my lonely reflection,
I could only see the rosy smiles of my family,
the wonderful chatter,
and the warmth their presence brings to the iftar,
thoughts of hunger for food and water,
seeped away quickly,
replaced with a cold loneliness,
desperate for the warmth of family.

Lahore - Day 1 (Yellow Chickadee)

We took off just about 4pm… 20minute delay waiting for connecting passengers from Korea.
Kris Flyer Entertainment system kept me amused during the flight to Karachi. The Korean film, Art of Seduction, got me guffawing out loud a couple of times. Then I helped Akeelah win the spelling bee. I liked the spelling it was fun and at time befuddeling…befaddlin….befuddling! =)

Karachi to Lahore, I slept so soundly only the hard landing of a Boeing shook me up from my sleep. Besides the ice-cream, the flight was uneventful. Checked into PC Lahore and found out that Ramadhan starts a day later here, because the moon hadn’t been sighted. That’s the coolest thing ever for someone like me who’s Hari Raya celebration has never ever been ruined, delayed or brought forward because of the mysteriousness of the moon. But hey, CNN showed that almost all the Muslim world has started fasting. Maybe there are some thicker clouds around these areas.

Well, I thought I could sleep in this Sunday, but guess what we had to go in for a meeting. On a Sunday morning! I thought Singaporeans were bad, but these are some really determined Pakistanis. Meeting went well.

Then we headed for lunch, and decided to explore and go out of the hotel, and use one of those ‘private taxis’. PL, me and D almost got cheated. See, what happened was that another man negotiated for the taxi driver, and he said 300 Pak Rp (bout 7-8 dollars) for a return trip to Fortress road (where the food was) and back to the hotel. When we got out of the restaurant, we thought- let’s walk around for a bit and check out the shops before heading back. The driver than shouted to us that he would charge for waiting another 200 Pak Rp. PL said in not quite so direct terms- go to hell. I’ll pay you 150 and you can go off, and we’ll find another ride back. The guy looked miffed but agreed.

Then after our walk, we saw a group of Chinese near his car. Now he wanted us to pay 200 and he would go off to drive this group of Chinese around. By this time, I had had enough. First, he’s acting like a big time hustler, and his car wasn’t exactly a limo it was a tiny yellow Suzuki hatchback about the size of a Kancil- a little chickadee. So, I told him off and said we’d only pay 150 (and by this time, was also had to pay for 20 for his parking). It slowly got heated and I started shouting at him. He was also trying to get this security guard to help him out. The guard was quite amused at me and PL who’s a tiny Chinese woman shouting quite ‘garangly’ to this big burly Pakistani man. D who’s a old white ang-moh just observed, letting the women do the talking (what is it with men nowadays? Gone are the good ‘ol days of the knight on the white horse coming to save the damsels in distress).

Anyways, he finally barked at us to get into the car and drive us back to the hotel (He left the other group stranded). Once we got there, we handed him 320 exactly, and got out. He then asked for another 100. I shouted ‘Nehi’ and then walked off in a huff.

We’ve decided, that it may be better to just pay more for the hotel car and save the effort of haggling. I love our public transportation.

(Taxi uncles- I’m sorry I ever complained about expensive taxi fares in Singapore, and grouchy bad drivers. You guys are angels compared to taxi drivers here!)
By the way, the food is gorgeous. But tomorrow my jihad begins. It’ll be quite an experience, I’m sure.

what i want from you

bagalsnob was asked...what do you want from me?...and this is what bagelsnob wants...

This is what I wanted from you yesterday.

I wanted you to say- after you heard me tell u that I didn’t like you meeting your friend yesterday, that you wouldn’t because you think it is more important to spend more time with me (who's flying off for a long time on Sat) and NOT because you think I’ll get angry.

When I said, ‘I don’t like it, but I don’t have to like everything’- I had hoped for you to say- no, it’s important to me that you don’t have a problem with anything I do, because I respect you and it’s important that we are both always happy with what each other is doing.

I want you to understand that sometimes when I say its OK, I mean no its not OK…and even when you ask me- are u sure it’s OK…and I answer Yes I’m sure it’s OK…I still mean its not OK…this applies vice versa too.

When I called you and realized that you are the kedai kopi, I had hoped for you to understand that my upset voice saying nevermind it’s noisy, would signal for you to go to a quieter corner and call me back.

I didn’t want you to discontinue the sms conversation we had and leave it hanging.

I wanted you not to let me fall asleep angry, cos it would mean that I would wake up angry. I don’t go to bed and forget things the next morning. It always just makes it worse.

This is what I wanted from you this morning.

When I said this morning, that I had hoped for you to think 2 steps ahead of me, I had hoped for you to ask me what I meant by it, or ok…instead of keeping quiet, and signaling that you are upset and irritated with what I said, or completely ignoring it.

This is what I want from you all the time

To understand that I don’t ‘throw tantrums’, I get upset about things because there are legitimate things to be upset with, even if you don’t think so.

I want you to put yourself in MY shoes and think about what I’d like or not like.

I want you to think about the things I do for you, and think about why I do those things for you- and whether maybe- once in a while I expect you to do the same for me.

seeking solace and solitude

soon i'll be able to seek solace and solitude in lahore...
to escape everything that traps me...
holding me down... drawing on fears and insecurities...

soon i'll be able to seek solace and solitude in lahore...
to hear my heart beat to the rhythm of my thoughts...
emptying my being...reexamining my soul...

soon i'll be able to seek solace and solitude in lahore...
healing this broken spirit... dismissing regrets...
forgetting disappointments...

soon i'll be able to seek solace and solitude in lahore...
and yet it cannot come soon enough...