good men

yesterday after sahur, the morning meal i have to kick off the fast, the sudden urge to look at an old album kinda hit me. so i reached out to look at my sydney album and started guffawing at the funny photos and sketches that i had done during my trip there. it was like a comic journal of every day's activities while i was reunited with one of my bestest girlfriends in the world Zhi and Son.

Anyway, as i flipped i suddenly saw a page from when i scaled the Sydney harbour bridge with the Z-man and one of his best mates! Whoa...a whole lot ot memories came flooding back..all good ones. Me and the Z-man are still good friends. Well, we don't meet in person, but we do chat on MSN a lot and he keeps me in the loop about his life, his career choices etc, and i do the same.

It's not been a problem for me having him still in my life. I mean you don't erase 3 years of your life just because the person you spent the most time with during that time isn't with you anymore right? I've always viewed it as a positive thing. I mean you can't change the fact that these individuals shape your life experience and one-way-or another help you form or define your world view. So the Z-man, did that. And so did some of the other men i've dated. And most often then not, even if I've shed a few tears in my time, i've alwas come out of it thinking- Hey! Now if that didn't happen, i wouldn't have learnt this or that....so i've always felt at the end of the day...that if i had a chance to do it again, ok i would, just because i learn from it.

of course, there are those you wish you could permanently delete from your memory. Of course! but the Z-man wasn't one of them.

Anyhow, i've disgressed...we were chatting on MSN yest, cos i was telling him about the album, when he asked me if i still had any of our photos. and i said, yes, confidently. and last night, before i went to bed i just had a sudden urge to look at them. and for a good hour, i couldn't find them. they weren't in the normal stash of photo albums i have (this was a long time ago, so before we kept soft-copies in our PCs/Macs). I panicked, thinking to myself, 'NO! I couldn't have thrown them away now could i?' It really upset me that i couldn't remember. Like after all that positive talk in the paras above, and then, did i like burn them or chuckem in some fit of rage that i couldn't remember. I honestly don't remember any rage associated to that break-up!

Then as i continued to search, i found them, a whole stash! hahaha...i was so deliriously happy that i still had them, as if it was proof that this part of my life still existed, that i didn't accidentally delete them from my history.

Phew!

I also found a whole stash of photos and cards from my first boyfriend the A-man. Heee. i was then 17! LOL. he's now married with 2 kids! i'm glad we bump into each other sometimes and i get to catch up on where he's at in life. I mean these are good men.

Good men, who've helped me learn about myself, about what makes a relationship work and what doesn't. Good men, that realise that life's more about experiences that help shape us. And as i'm pretty happy with the person I am now. I thank them for helping me get to where I am.

I'm with a good man now. And i'm hoping he'll push me further in life, and help me be an even better person than I am now.