bali

i promised photos from Bali...this is my favourite one...

why is no so difficult to say

i have always had a problem of saying no.

i thought i had said it. i thought i had articulated it loud enough for everyone to hear. with conviction. with confidence. that no was no.

was it not loud enough? or can people see through the no. that a yes lingers behind. revealed with a plea. a request. with flattery?

i think i've had enough. i just wish i could convince people about it.

a conversation

a conversation i had with a foreigner last week.

She: Are you a practising Muslim?
Me: Well, what do you mean?
She: I'm Muslim, but I don't practise it.
Me: Oh. Well, I suppose I consider myself a practising Muslim although I don't practise as much as I should.
She: Oh, and do you have sex?
Me: Huh?....errr...
She: You have sunni, shia?
Me: Oh, sects. Yes we do.

tsk

griping about the Mrt...or rather its passengers

i usually take the bus to work. it's a much more pleasant experience. no crowd, or little if any. there's the tv mobile and enough room to almost curl up with a book if necessary.

but on days like this morning when i head to the gym, i'd hop onto the mrt at novena to head to work. and i dread the mrt ride in the mornings. if not for the fact that it takes almost half the time i'd rather climb up a bus.

getting onto the train at novena, means that i'm climbing into a jam-packed carriage squeezing myself almost spread out like jam at the door. today someone else jumped into the carriage squeezing me literally like jam between 2 slices of bread, except that the slice behind me had a big ass. Not only did he have a big ass, he was an ass. When we got to Newton, he refused to budge from the entrance/exit of the carriage. He just stood there, while i was face on with passengers desperate to get out of the train. I couldn't move cos he had me practically pinned there, between another guy, and it wasn't as if this ass was a small one!

so i started saying under my breadth:

'You have to step out of the train' repeatedly with my volume gradually increasing.

you have to step out of the train you have to sept out of the train you have to step out of the train YOU HAVE TO STEP OUT OF THE TRAIN YOU HAVE TO STEP OUT OF THE TRAIN

he finally got the message and stepped out. i think he was quite afraid of me cos he let me back into the train first after all the passengers got out of the train.

yeesh what is it about Singaporean train passengers. are we so ridiculously afraid that we can't get back onto the train?

anyway. i was surfing today and found that Virgin did a ranking of the top 11 metro/subway systems in the world. and we're not one of them the list goes:

1. London, England
2. Paris, France
3. Moscow, Russia
4. Madrid, Spain
5.Tokyo, Japan
6. Seoul, South Korea
7. New York City, USA
8. Montreal, Canada
9. Beijing, China
10.Sao Paolo, Brazil

I've been on the London Tube, the Seoul Subway and the NYC Subway- and hey i think we're just as efficient. Maybe not as beautiful as some of the stations in those cities- which boasts beautiful architecture and interior- but come on! NYC's subway's can be quite dirty, dark and gloomy.

but if passenger ettiquette had anything to do with the rating, i'm not surprised we're nowhere near the top!

runnin into rina

i didn't really run into rina. we had planned to meet. it's been eons. i can't even remember when was the last time we had met.

things have changed so so much. coffee used to be an excuse to spend hours mulling over life. meticulously labouring our every inner thought. we still do, perhaps not so meticulously, and certainly not over hours. minutes perhaps. lucky if we make an hour or two.

we haven't changed much i think. Rina is still the lovely dreamer that she is. a light spirited soul. sometimes i feel that her spirit is trapped in the physical. that she's meant to float by weightlessly. lightly. with nothing weighing her down.

between the two of us...i think i've altered more. have i forgotten how to dream endlessly and aimelessly? i can't seem to tell. i'm contented. i know. but i've forgotten how idealistically optimistic i was. it seems foolish now. but i remember when it meant everything to me.

peter pan. tell me whether what you know is true?

back from bali

i was quite upset that my time in bali came to an end...
but i must say that it's good to be home...
back in the crazy office...

i'll post photos of my trip soon...
and some good tips about bali...
if you're keen on going...

it was an eventful return. had some good news i hope to share with everyone soon...

luv u all....
so so much.

at lunch last friday

P: I, it's great to finally have lunch with you after all these months.
I: Yeah. I'm sorry. I've just been so busy!
P: Me too. Anyway, I'd really like to see you again, and more often too.
I: Oh.
P: No...I don't mean it that way. It's just that, you know...we should keep in touch.
I: Well yes, me too. Well since NUS is so near Holland V, I could swing by for lunch.
P: I would love to swing by to Holland V!
I: Ok then. Let's do that. We should identify a certain day of a month to meet every month.
P: Like what?
I: How about every last Friday of the month.
P: You make it sound like you're scheduling a monthly departmental meeting! So government!
I: But you know. It's really difficult with me. I always say, yes let's meet more often. but it never pans out.
P: Yeah! That's you! Always doing that.
I: See, so if we schedule it, it's more likely to happen!
P: Ok then. No every last Friday of the month is not good. Make it third Thursday of the month.
I: That's ok with me.
P: Ok then. But we have to skip this month. We'll start in April.
I: Cool.

*go figure*

again

i'm in the office again...
3rd Saturday in a row...
i know i know...
you're probably wondering why? if i'm so busy i have the time to 'idle'...
maybe because it keeps me sane...
after 3 hours of work in an office i see five days a week...
you just need to do something else...
and figuring as there's noone else to talk to beside surviving Chiam S.T and Viv (my fishies)...
this keeps me sane.

*sigh*

again.

again

it's happening again...
that feeling...
like the world is crashing around me...

HEAvEN-honey almond nougat

How often do you deserve indulgence?
After a hard day's work? Maybe just on your birthday?
Or when you've done a good deed?
Well you know what- life's too short.
Every day you breathe, indulge.
Take a square or a row of honey almond nougat
and let it melt in your mouth,
Because, for whatever reason,
you deserve it,
whenever.

bronchitis

i'm down with a nasty case of bronchitis. went to bed on friday night almost wheezing as i couldn't breathe without my chest hurting. aisyah woke me up at 5.30am reminding me that i wanted to go for body combat. i sat up and went straight back to bed telling her that i wasnt' feeling great. i woke up again at 7.30am. dressed. got out of the house. and walked right back in to lie down. my breadth was short and my chest hurt. i was afraid. headed to flame tree medical and was diagnosed with bronchitis!

Info source: Wikipedia

Bronchitis is an obstructive pulmonary disorder characterized by inflammation of the bronchilungs. Chronic bronchitis is often caused by smoking, and may be fatal. It is common in habitual tobacco smokers and residents of polluted cities. Like many disorders, bronchitis can be acute (short-term), or chronic (long-lasting). Chronic bronchitis is defined clinically as a persistent cough that produces sputum matter that is coughed up from the respiratory tract, for at least three months in two consecutive years. of the

Chronic bronchitis is predominantly caused by smoking, and has also been linked to pneumoconiosis, excessive alcohol consumption and exposure to cold and draught.^[1]

Symptoms

• An expectorating cough (the color of the mucus does not signify whether the infection is viral or bacterial)
• Dyspnea (Shortness of breath)
• Fatigue and/or malaise
• Mild fever
• Mild chest pains
• Vibration in chest when breathing

I definitely suffered from Dyspnea. Did i mention that iman was down with bronchitis a couple of days before me. Turns out that Bronchitis is infectious. And my case has nothing to do with smoking. you hear?

anyways.. what freaked me out completely was while the doctor was diagnosing me, she asked- have you travelled to or met with anyone from birdflu countries?

*panic*

"oh, i'm just asking to be extra careful."

*how comforting?*

....

i finally downloaded some photos. check them out

isn't he cute?

aren't i cute?

check out more photos here...

the colour red

i am bagelgal

first i've never liked murder mysteries. never. i didn't even know it was one when i picked it up in mumbai last year. all i knew was that i had just heard that pamuk was awarded the nobel prize for literature. and i couldn't say no to the book which in india cost me only a mere 8 dollars.

no regrets.

i've never read anything quite like this before...his perspective...fresh. his posturing between east and west. remarkable.the insights he provided into turkish history, culture and art. priceless.

if you're keen on picking a book...get your hands on this one...

Read an Excerpt


on a related subject...i'm running out of bookshelf space... i think i'll have to stop buying books..not until i get my own place...yeesh

my photojournalist friend

felix emailed me...telling me that he won 2nd place for the worldwide photoshare competition.

i think his photo was gorgeous... check out the other winning entries at

http://www.photoshare.org/contest/2006/06winners.php

Congratulations Felix!

Felix Masi

Rural deputy headteacher Jackson Kanani and other commuters wade through a flooded road to school in Funyula Basia, Kenya. Jackson, a teacher at Bukhwamba primary school, is one of the teachers facing the hardships of instilling knowledge in the future scholars and businessmen and women of Kenya. Some teachers travel as far as 15 km each day to get to school, and are poorly paid for their efforts.

Judges' Comment: This is a moving picture that talks about the efforts and conviction of those who believe in education to improve their living conditions.

hurrah champions of the ASEAN football cup 2007

it's monday morning and i'm still ole-ole-ole-ing....not out loud...but certainly i'm still celebrating last night's win! football fever's got me bad...watched the semi-final 2nd leg against Malaysia at the National Stadium...and also headed back there to watch Singapore kick Thailand's butt in the first leg of the finals! Last night match was the highlight of the week...

i spent the morning lazing about watchin telly...took a short nap in the afternoon. iman picked me up and we went to run some errands before heading to Vivo city... had a quick dinner of Long John's Silver- oooooo so sinful....my diet's def gone down the drain....and then made a quick stop at Naf Naf where i fell in love with a to die for retro black and white print top...that fit like a glove...

iman gave me an approving nod...and i could see the glimmer in his eyes... telling me to ignore the pricey price tag and to fish out my credit card...which i did. if i had thought about it some more the miser in me would have stopped me...but i was happy with the buy...

we then rushed to Zai's place at Normanton estate...oh man...it was a colonial semi-d...gorgeous...small, quaint, breezy with a beautiful pool in the front yard...perfect...i'd love to live in such a place....

together with the rest of my supper kakis...we cheered Singapore to their championship......

Congrats boys...and you too Zai!

photo source: http://cyberita.com.sg

easing me through the new year...

the last 2 days have been tough...

imagine having a persistent head cramp...one which makes you feel as if you're skull is shrinking an inch an hour...closing into all your senses...making your head frown...your eyes buldge out from the pressure...your heart begins to race...and your breathing shortens...

i haven't felt stress like this in a while....

and it's such a challenge...even to breathe in and out slowly...pushing in as much oxygen into the chest...to force yourself not to exhale hoping that it would help you stop the frantic beating of your heart...

that all things will return to normalcy soon...

that i'll feel human again...

i've changed my skin...

to remind me that there's much more to life than this...that i should take the time to sit back and relax...to enjoy the simplicities of life...

back..barbeque..sentosa..cafe del mar...

i got back on thursday morning..landed at 7.30 am...took a quick nap and was back in the office at 2pm...ta jie was calling me...telling me that IE needed something quick..iman came by the office..and we left early for a good dinner at sakae...japanese cuisine was just what i needed after a week and a half of naan, naan, naan and more naan.

...

headed to aloha loyang for a barbeque with iman's kk boys...was a hoot...i got to hang out with the kids inside...and enjoyed jojo's strumming of mat jiwang malay love songs...was good to be back..

...

cherie and rita from bangkok were in town. so iman and i picked them up at bugis junction and headed to Fong Seng for nasi lemak...rita loves nasi lemak... and where better to bring her...we then headed to Sentosa...it was almost nine by this time...and all the attractions were closed..but they still enjoyed looking at the ugly merlion and walking around...

we then checked out Cafel del Mar...i lurve lurve lurved the place...groovy tunes...gorgeous pool...and most decadent deck chairs and day beds...drinks were on me..and we spent the evening laughing over funny stories...


next time i head there...i'm bringing my bathing suit...

My Best Friend's Wedding

Speech about my best-friend at her Wedding Reception.

When Sonia asked me to say a few words at the wedding, I was hysterically happy. Then it dawned upon me that I would be MCeeing the wedding as well. I should not also be giving the speech. I conveyed this feeling of discomfort to Sonia, and her response was, “Why can’t you do both?”

I explained that it would appear to people as if I was hogging the limelight and attention, by trying to do both. I didn’t want people to think that I “shiok sendiri”. Her answer was a straight-forward, “Yes you can do both.. It doesn’t matter what people think!”

I’ve been friends with Sonia for almost 13 years now, and that’s what I love about her. She doesn’t care what people think as long as she know’s its right. And she knows I love attention and encourages it!

Seriously. Sonia left Singapore to study in Australia at 17. Before she left for Sydney, Sonia was a, this is the truth- you know it Son so don’t hate me!, a scatter-brain. I think she spent more time day-dreaming and in fantasies rather than making sure she knows how to get to point A to point B. Sonia was a notoriously bad navigator. She’d get lost at Takashimaya without someone to guide her! I used to make endless fun of her regarding this ‘quality’ of hers! And she’d get back at me for it.

Once when we were planning a design of a cruise-liner, don’t ask me why we did that, it was one of the things we did when we made up our minds that A Math was too difficult and didn’t deserve our undivided attention, she assigned us all positions like captain, crewman. I made a strong point that there was no way she could be the navigator. Sonia laughed it off, as if it didn’t matter at all how I was being so mean to her. But quietly as she finished her plan, she drew a tiny cabin, at the lowest rungs of the ship for me, next to the waste collection, which she designed to fuel the ship- and I was assigned to shovel that biological waste to keep the ship running. That was poetic justice for her.

I’ve never told her this I think, but the thing I loved and admired most about her was her sense of imagination, the fantasies that she paints in her head and sometimes articulates on paper. If you are one of the lucky few, and I think I am- Sonia could bring you to the ends of the earth, to see a palate of colours no man could ever describe, and launch you into delirious bouts of giggles when she opens your heart to the endless happy endings that you could encounter in one life.

Now Daniel. I’ve known Daniel now for, I dunno- I can’t recall when I first met him. Most of you probably don’t know him very well. I’ve spent, well not much time, but enough. We’ve played a round of silly golf together in Sydney, we’ve spent an afternoon at an amusement park, we’ve had brunch together. You know when I guy is a great guy, when he brings you to a golf course and never makes a face when you miss golf ball five times in a row after you’ve claimed to play golf since u were seven. You also know when a guy is great, when he beats 5 other seven year old at a funfair game so that his girlfriend’s friend could bring home a gorilla you named Eshay.

Actually, I’ve always been afraid of Daniel. Look at him. He’s a tall and looks so serious. And even when he’s trying to be funny, you’re not sure if he’s joking or being sarcastic, or scolding you. Daniel also comes in a package- you don’t get just Daniel but the entire Family of Pedemonts too. Which is probably the best part of the deal!

Anyway. Returning to my story. Sonia left after we did our O levels with another good friend of ours to study in Australia. When she left, a lot of us felt the loss of a great friend. I certainly felt completely hopeless. My best friend had left.

There were many times I wished that she had never left. But today, I’m happy. If she hadn’t left for Australia, she wouldn’t have met Daniel. And what a pair they make. Daniel is serious and meticulous enough a person to make sure Sonia the scatter brain keeps her act together. I know for a fact that Daniel is a capable navigator, so Sonia won’t get lost in another shopping centre again. And Sonia’s infectious passion for life injects the little giggle that our serious Daniel needs to colour his life (urmmm I think).

To the both of you, I’m deliriously happy for you. Thank you Sonia for the priviledge of being your friend, for staying in touch all these years, for always inviting me into your home in Sydney. Thank you for US4, for Bono and U2, for Mirabella, Night Shade and god- knows-what, for Les Mis, for always being a phone call away, for understanding that my crying over a burnt pecan pie was a symptom of a broken heart and not a culinary disaster, for never judging and for being a friend!

To Daniel, thank you for sharing your family with me, and for loving my friend. For she deserves all the love in the world.

Not so New- New Year's Eve and New Year

i know...i know... it's not so new...but i've been busy..too too busy...and now that i'm in Lahore..alone on a Sunday..i've finally found some time to say some things.... about the New Year and the Old Year...

i got to see the fireworks....it was my first time celebrating the New Year with hundreds and maybe thousands of other Singaporeans at the Esplanade area...Iman and I got a nice spot with a wonderful view...

the rest of the evening was spent at zouk...it was my first time at zouk too...so this was a New Year with many firsts...

and on New Year's day...my best friend Sonia had her wedding...the Singapore leg of the wedding that is...my best friend's married and she's also going to be a mommy...2007 is going to be an amazing year... i can just feel it....

e gorgeous couple

e 3 beauties

iman, su and e pedemonts

the tale of the rose...

if you have...like me...fallen in love with the tale of the little prince and his rose...you should not hesitate to leaf through the pages of this tale of love...love which causes delirious bouts of happiness... and heart-wrenching anguish...

his fragile little rose...nurtured and trampled on in one breadth...

listen to the anguished cries of the fragile rose and understand that love is...ironically...a bed of roses filled with thorns...filling the air with a sweet aroma but cutting you...unleashing the deep crimson of pain if you grasp it unwittingly...or too passionately...

it is futile to understand love... you can merely be a victim to its embrace...

the end...

i bade lahore farewell for the year...and look forward to my return in the new year...

i long to elope with the serene solitude of the towering mughal artistry which never ceases to amaze me and remind me of my finite nature in an infinite history...

...

as i write my own...my will overcomes all repressed emotion...i let go the past...not to forget...but to forgive...
for only letting us have what is given to us and not what is not meant to be...

it isn't cruelty.
it is just.
it is fate.